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Next time the wife complains about playing too many sports....Whack!

well you should of jumped off some bridge's or something cause I don't care about your pet peeve's.

I like the final line about how an e-mail sent to Dick Pound bounced back because of the spam filter...you just can't say "viagra" in e-mails anymore. Oh yeah, "Dick Pound" is also funny.

Never lie about your feelings or intentions. I'd date a lot of my friends but I'm also friends with them and continue to be friends even if we never go down that path. They're wonderful people. Mostly ;-) A lot of the friends I've dated I've known for a long while, and while breakups suck, I'm still friends with most of them.

man i wanna be this guy

magic mushrooms? seriously who calls them magic mushrooms? gtfo

Dude, dug for space balls. One of the funniest movies ever. " I can ensure you that the rumors are not true, there is no air shortage. Yes well I've heard the same thing myself. Thanks for calling, and for not pressing the charges. * goes back to breathing Perri-air* *Video wall comes one* President scrobe! *Throws can*"

If your erection lasts more than 4 innings, please consult your 15 year old country singer girlfriend.

Well, at least they got their one last fling before having complete sobriety for the rest of their careers, except for those who go back to taking LSD.

No way, man. It doesn't increase your anxiety over time. I found that smoking a lot without being used to it, and around people I didn't trust completely, really added to my anxiety, to the point of inducing panic attacks. Shortly after that discovery, I realized that putting about .1g in my vaporizer every couple of nights made my panic attacks disappear entirely, not to mention kept my thought process more balanced, and less prone to dark thoughts and worry.

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